Uncertainty can make me nervous. That’s why I downloaded a wedding countdown app, and I’ve been using it to track a couple of milestone dates, like the 60-days-before-the-wedding mark. And that’s today. It’s 4PM as I type this, which means in exactly 60 days, our wedding guests will be parking their cars and finding their seats.
Yesterday we did a walk-through at our wedding venue with our Day Of Coordinator. I really went back and forth on hiring a DOC. The friends and family of mine who used one really sung their praises, but as we started sketching out the details of our wedding, I questioned if it was a want or a need for our particular wedding, which was not going to be all that big or all that complicated. My definitions of “big” and “complicated” have evolved, and I’m very glad we went with a DOC.
We’re expecting about 100 people, which isn’t a “big wedding”, but it’s objectively a lot of people. And even though we’re forgoing a lot of wedding elements (cake cutting, a DJ, sit-down dinner), there are still so many moving parts.
That’s why yesterday, after our walk-through, we headed to Stone Tasting Room and quickly got ourselves a flight of beers. I asked my girlfriend how she was feeling and she said, “overwhelmed.”
We spent about two hours working through the details of our rehearsal, ceremony and reception with our very helpful and organized DOC. We nailed down so many details and she answered so many questions. But still we walked away with our heads swimming.
I’m a producer by trade. Timelines and detailed plans are my bread and butter. Plus I’m a true blue Virgo, so I have lists of my lists. After a few silent sips of beer, I pulled out pen and paper and started making You, Me and Us lists. By the time we’d gotten down on paper everything we knew we needed to decide, or follow up on, or get a contract for, we were both feeling much better.
Never has this wedding felt more real to me. I know when I’ll take photos with my family (before the ceremony… when the baby flower girl will hopefully be fresh and smiley) and where the seating chart will be displayed. I know we’re booking our hotel for Friday night, in addition to Saturday, so we don’t have to worry about checking in after the wedding when we’re tired (and let’s be honest, drunk). I know when I’m getting my hair done and where I’ll be putting on my make-up.
I also know that after feeling no need to invite family friends from my hometown, I changed my mind two nights ago. I was working on our reception playlist which includes a tune from The Clash. I flashed back to when an old family friend was my brother’s soccer coach and he named their team The Clash. I realized that this family friend, his wife, and another couple from “home,” have known me since I was born and have witnessed, in one way or another, all of my other major life milestones. Good thing we ordered extra invites.
Sixty days to go either sounds like quite a while, or not long at all. What’s for sure is that I want to take advantage of all 60 of these days. My girlfriend and I will be staying away from grains and sugar for the next 60 days (with the occasional exception, I’m sure), so we feel good in our bodies when the wedding day comes. I have a charming back acne issue that I’m going to tackle, thanks to some tips from my dermatologist. And I’m going to be careful with my time, so I’m not an exhausted stress ball in 60 days.
My girlfriend and I have really been burning the candle at both ends. We also found a third end and are burning that one as well. Not only are we working our normal, busy jobs and living our normal busy lives (with holidays and birthdays to celebrate, laundry to launder and bathrooms to clean), we’re also planning this wedding AND taking a pretty intense writing class together. We’re either smartly giving ourselves a creative distraction that will save us from obsessing over the wedding (and the current presidential race … what the hell, man), or we’re very dumbly stacking another obligation on top of our already full plates. Only time will tell! But we had an opportunity for career development and we didn’t want to pass it up.
Apparently I’m the kind of person who repeats inspirational quotes from fitness professionals, because at my Cardio Barre class on Saturday, the teacher lead us through end-of-class stretches and said, “it’s within your power to slow down time. Just stop thinking about what you need to do next and how quickly you can get there and focus on what you’re doing right now.” How long can I make the next 60 days? Long enough to get everything done, take care of myself, give my relationships the attention they deserve and not lose my mind in the process? I hope so.