There are 26 days until our wedding and I’m an unique kind of tired.
In my 20’s, I moved every year. I didn’t have that much stuff, but I also couldn’t afford movers or fancy extras like packing tape. So moving meant scrounging for boxes, squeezing things into my car and then doing trip after trip from the old place to the new place. Once I drove 15 city blocks with a mattress clinging to the roof of my car, held there by a scrap of rope, my free hand and good intentions.
After one rough move, I was starving and broke, so I poured the dregs of a bag of freezer-burned fried rice into my single pan and cooked it just long enough to not break my teeth. I choked it down sitting on the floor, too tired to think coherent thoughts or reevaluate my life choices. In my young adult mind, I recorded that feeling of abject exhaustion.
That’s the kind of tired I am right now.
But I’m also starting to have a lot of fun. On Saturday, friends came over to help with wedding projects. I stuffed jars with copper wire studded with tiny lights. My artist friend turned a hand-me-down chalkboard into an incredible welcome sign that matches our invitations. Her husband brought power tools and we all sanded and oiled lengths of wood to make a giant Jenga set as tall as my girlfriend. Then we walked into Old Town for hotdogs at magic hour. When I got home, I could barely stand upright, but I was brimming with happiness and contentment.
Today there’s been checking off of this and that… reminders, and online ordering. Updating spreadsheets and assigning tasks. All my emails have had typos, and my answers to questions have been halting and nonsensical. While I was trying to write 30 seconds of copy, I stared at the word “jazz” so long that all language lost meaning.
But tonight I’m going to make two cocktails and then my girlfriend and I are going to order our marriage license online. AND I finally found galvanized beverage tubs that are cute, the right size and the right price. It’s a trifecta that has eluded me for months. I can pick them up at my local Target in just a few days. Sometimes it’s the little things that feel like the biggest wins.